What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
