cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?