All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house