Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another