I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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