Do vagina's smell?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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