i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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