they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
