i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
