I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
