I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
