In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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