You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You took a bar mat shot.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
