found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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