I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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