hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was CRYING into my vagina
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Two words: blizzard sex
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
