there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
third nipple confirmed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize