He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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