I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize