hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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