i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
