you win again, gameday.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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