I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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