You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it glows. i had to have it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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