mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
bring money and cleavage
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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