You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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