trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
