white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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