Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
