so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
