apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
