Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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