i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
