Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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