I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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