Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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