I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
