How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
