I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
