she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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