Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Someone shit on the floor
that's an acceptable place to lick
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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