he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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