I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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