Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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