I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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