Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
