The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize