He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
