I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
