I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
