The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize