she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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