The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
tell me about the eggs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
