why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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