I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
