amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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