he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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