Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
