i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
