I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
being pregnant is like rehab
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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